Thursday, June 11, 2015

Help! It's Summer...Top 10 Things I Shouldn't Have Said

As anyone who has followed this blog knows, times of difficulty bring about creative, or, perhaps, desperate, writing. And so it goes with the past seven days, when the the joys of summer vacation have lost their golden hue and I've sunk to uttering the phrases experts caution parents not to say. 

"This is ridiculous."

"Is it 5 o'clock yet?"

And, the one that never makes it to print, "Yes, you can watch another show."

Below, however, are the Top 10 Sentences I've uttered in the past 7 days, phrases that perhaps you might recognize.

TOP 10 "Help! It's Summer" Sentences 

1. Well, it’s 10am. I’m not making your lunch yet.

2. Your babysitter is a lacrosse ref. You have to behave.

3. If we were roommates, you could get upset with me for drinking the last Bai5. But I’m your mom, so, this is different.

4. I can’t be in two places at once, by which I mean, I can’t help your sister and you at the same time even if you are, technically, in the same place.

5. Thank you for bringing me the tub of yogurt. But, I’m upstairs. And you’re going to need a bowl.

6. The dog has something on his paw that is not chocolate ice cream.

7. Of course I will help you clean your closet. Here’s the thing.  It’s 10 pm.

8. The days seem short to you? Tell me about that.

9. I know the pool water is cold. They don’t heat it. Apparently, because then it gets cold again.

And the favorite thing I’ve uttered to my children today:

10. You start camp next week.

Finally, the top five things I've done to keep my cool as the kids, the heat, and the inability to do two things at once get a little intense:

1. Wake up before sunrise to go to yoga.
2. Drink a mug of tea at bedtime.
3. Actually, I've only done two things. I haven't figured out the other three.

Thanks for reading. If you're counting down the days until the end of the school year...why?